


Mistake

by RoyaiFan101



Series: Victory [5]
Category: Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: Ed Is A Little Shit, F/M, Grumman doesn’t help, Royai!Baby
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-03
Updated: 2020-04-03
Packaged: 2021-02-28 18:40:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 880
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23451841
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RoyaiFan101/pseuds/RoyaiFan101
Summary: Roy learns to never fall asleep at work. Especially if Edward Elric is visiting.
Relationships: Riza Hawkeye/Roy Mustang
Series: Victory [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1674847
Comments: 3
Kudos: 59





	Mistake

Roy _knew_ it was a _mistake_ to sleep at his desk the day before an some supposedly important celebration in East City, with Führer Grumman himself showing up for it that afternoon.

Riza, the absolutely wonderful love of his life outside of the work place, had warned him _thousands_ of times to _not_ fall asleep at work.

But did he listen to her? _Nope_!

So that’s how he found himself in his particular situation, in his office’s personal bathroom, desperately trying to scrub off the hideous “ _mustache_ ” Edward had drawn on his face while he slept, the younger blonde cackling loudly in his office over the older man’s freak out.

“I’m gonna _slaughter_ you, Fullmetal!” Roy screamed from behind the closed door.

“Shouldn’t have been drooling at your desk, ya bastard!” Ed cackled.

“When I get through with you, you’ll be in _pieces_! There’s an important event today! You couldn’t have done this _after_ it was done and over with? Or better yet _tomorrow_?!” Roy groaned.

Riza chose that moment to walk back into the office, a newly eleven month old Sophia resting on her hip, the infant adorned in a nice dress for the ceremony.

“What is going on?” She groaned, running through her freshly cut hair, having decided over the weekend that having long hair _and_ a hair pulling infant was no longer a good combination.

“Hawkeye! I order you to shoot Fullmetal! Make it _lethal_!” Roy ordered angrily, still in the bathroom.

He was pissed over Ed’s prank, and the fact that it _wasn’t_ coming off was making him even more livid.

“I’m _not_ shooting someone in front of Sophia, especially if I don’t know why.” She sighed, shifting their daughter over to her other hip.

Roy chose that moment to open the bathroom door, revealing why he wanted Edward deceased.

“Look what that _half pint little shit_ drew on my face!” He snarled, pointing to his upper lip.

“ _ **WHO ARE YOU CALLING A MIDGET YOU MIDDLE AGED SHIT HEAD!?!**_ ” Edward screamed at him.

“Oh dear God.” Riza gasped, slapping her free hand over her open mouth.

“Who the fuck are you calling _middle aged_? Because of _you_ , I look like the kind of person Mother’s hide their children from!” Roy cried.

“J-Just wash it off.” Riza stammered, trying to calm the two men down.

“I’ve been trying for ten minutes! I even tried using alchemy to get it off. Didn’t do a damn thing! If I was a heavier sleeper, I’d be convinced the shithead _tattooed_ it on me!” Roy hollered.

“Don’t tempt me in the future, _Colonel_.” Ed scoffed.

“That’s _General_ to you, you little _runt_. Why are you even here anyway?”

“ _ **DON’T CALL ME A RU-**_ “

“ _Enough_! Both of you!” Riza screamed at them.

Groaning angrily, she placed Sophia in her playpen, before marching over to the two bickering _dumbasses_.

“Roy, _stop_ yelling at him in front of Sophia. Or at the very least quit cussing.” She snapped.

“Ed, you are almost eighteen years old. You are _supposed_ to be more mature then this. We’re supposed to be celebrating the anniversary of Eastern Command’s founding in less then an hour.” Riza hissed.

 _Oh so that’s why today is important._ Roy mentally shrugged.

“ _General Firecrotch_ shouldn’t have been sleeping on the job.” Ed shrugged, jabbing his thumb at him.

“But did you have to draw a _pedostache_ on my _face_?” Roy groaned.

“Would you have rather me gone to get Hawkeye so she could wake you up to the sound of a cocking handgun?” Ed scoffed.

“ _Yes_!” He hissed.

“Hello there? Anyone in?” A voice sounded out from behind the closed door.

“Oh no. God kill me _now_.” Roy whined.

Behind the door was none other then Führer Tobias Reginald Grumman.

“Let’s just get this over with.” Riza sighed. “Come in Grandfather!” Riza yelled cheerfully, turning to face the door with a salute.

“You don’t have to salute me unless the Councilmen are around, _Elizabeth Jolene_.” Grumman scoffed, walking over to Riza and pulling her in for a hug.

“How many times do I have to ask you _not_ to call me by my legal given name?” Riza grimaced, hugging him back.

“Call it a perk of being the _Führer_ , I don’t always have to listen to my second favorite granddaughter.” He snorted.

Grumman noticed Sophia in her pen, a large grin forming on his face.

“And there’s my favorite granddaughter!” He cooed, walking over to Sophia, who was happy to be picked up by her great grandfather.

“Now don’t you look just absolutely adora- Mustang what in the hell is on your upper lip?” He gagged.

“ _Ask_. _Him_. _Sir_.” Roy snarled, pointing to a still smirking Edward.

“I pranked him while he napped.” Ed shrugged.

“You three _do know_ that there will be photographers at the ceremony today, correct?” Grumman reminded them.

“Can I get a copy of one involving my _masterpiece_ on Mustang’s face?” Ed asked Grumman gleefully.

“ _Fullmetal_!” Roy snapped.

“Sure!” Grumman smirked.

“ _Sir_!” Roy whined.

Ed laughed happily, flashing a shit eating grin in Roy’s direction.

“I’m gonna make sure _Lieutenant General Armstrong_ gets a copy as well.” He smirked.

“ _Now_ will you shoot him?” Roy begged Riza.

“ _Not in front of Sophia_.” Riza groaned, pinching the bridge of her nose.

**Author's Note:**

> So uh, yeah.  
> Sorry this isn’t longer. I’m honestly not a fan of Roy’s disgusting mustache. Or Riza with short hair, if I’m being honest.  
> But I needed to eventually write a story regarding their picture in the epilogue, and wanted to get it done & over with.


End file.
